Father's day

Fathers' day takes place on the third Sunday in June in the UK and for me it isn't an easy day to talk about because I lost my Dad very suddenly in 2008 from a heart attack, just 7 months after losing my Mum from cancer the year before.

My Dad was a firefighter and worked hard during his working life serving 30 years with the London Fire Brigade before he retired. He enjoyed days out, playing chess, doing the garden, watching TV, playing scrabble (he was a member of Mensa) and doing bits and bobs around the home. He wasn't a greedy man, he would always help other people when he could and he never swore or said bad things about anyone. After my Mum died the intention was to have Dad stay over at the weekends more and to sit him down to go through the family history while I recorded it. We decorated a room and got a bed for him so that could happen.

I guess you don't know when your hour or day will come and his passing was certainly a big shock. You may not be the perfect daughter or son and you may feel that in some way you haven't achieved what your parents wanted, but I know this. It is saddening to see people and 'celebs' in particular saying how much they love their Mum or Dad and yet when their parent doesn't do something the right way they just dump them (and yes there is someone on my mind here who has been allowed to behave appallingly towards their father, but it has been totally ignored the fact that he has actually been very ill and could have died!) We're all human at the end of the day and no one is blameless. I know I've made plenty of mistakes and have said and done the wrong thing many a time, but the truth is haven't you all? If you really love someone you will drop everything right now to go to be by their side if they fall ill or if something happens to them. That is what love is. I know my Dad would have dropped everything to be by my side if I needed him there and he often went out of his way to help me. When I got that call that Saturday morning in April 2008 the drive to my parent's house was an agonising 126 miles and it felt like forever.

If you are close to your Dad or Mum you'll know and understand how that feels. If you've become estranged for some reason from either of your parents and it is literally over something silly then don't let your pride and false principles stop you both from reconnecting. Sometimes older people do and say things and they really don't understand the offence they have caused you. No doubt the reverse could be said about the things you have said and done as well. How you react and behave when bad things happen to those you are supposed to love will show what your true nature is.  If you are lucky enough to have a close relationship then no doubt you'll treasure every moment and you'll want your friends and family to do the same. Whatever today is for you make it count and make sure that you remember the people that really do matter to you.